Miss Young and In Love writes:
Dear Young and In Love,
This is very interesting to me that you pose this question. I once dated a man 12 years older than me, the love of my life. Much like your honey, he was more settled and established in his life. I definitely learned how to balance work and love, but much to late to save ours. I realized after we had gone our separate ways, that I took away many lesson and learned a lot about the balance. What I was taught and feel comfortable sharing is that you must schedule things. For instance, he started us on scheduling sex. We would have sex Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays, and the other days would be just bonus. At the time I thought this was absurd. The young part of me rebelled against this until he tossed the schedule. Then I noticed because it wasn't a priority, we didn't do it as much because he worked very hard in his thriving business, and I worked very hard in mine. I would take that schedule over anything in the latter :) My point dear is that you must find balance through a schedule you both respect and one that will work for your schooling. It may mean spending less time together for a short period, but more quality time during your grad program when you do see each other. Make the moments together count more.
XOXO Double A
Dear Ariaka, I just recently met a guy who is completely amazing. He is doing well for himself and definetely more settled than I am. He is also about 10 years older than me. I am 24, he is 34. He has no children and speaks to me constantly about starting a family and living our lives together. Just recently, I have began grad school and he has started to complain about me not having time for him. I have even noticed that it has become hard to focus on my school work because he demands my attention when I am trying to do work online. How can I balance both?
Dear Young and In Love,
This is very interesting to me that you pose this question. I once dated a man 12 years older than me, the love of my life. Much like your honey, he was more settled and established in his life. I definitely learned how to balance work and love, but much to late to save ours. I realized after we had gone our separate ways, that I took away many lesson and learned a lot about the balance. What I was taught and feel comfortable sharing is that you must schedule things. For instance, he started us on scheduling sex. We would have sex Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays, and the other days would be just bonus. At the time I thought this was absurd. The young part of me rebelled against this until he tossed the schedule. Then I noticed because it wasn't a priority, we didn't do it as much because he worked very hard in his thriving business, and I worked very hard in mine. I would take that schedule over anything in the latter :) My point dear is that you must find balance through a schedule you both respect and one that will work for your schooling. It may mean spending less time together for a short period, but more quality time during your grad program when you do see each other. Make the moments together count more.
XOXO Double A
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